Moving to assisted living can feel like moving your life into a totally new world. With this new change comes new routines, new expenses, and of course, new decisions. One of the most pressing decisions that many older adults face as they prepare for this sort of move is how to handle their home. Deciding what to do with your home is a big decision, and it’s certainly not the last one you will make during this big transition. If you want to make figuring out what to do with your current home easier, Senior Living Chaplains recommends these essential steps.

Figure Out Your Assisted Living Plan Before You Make a Decision

If you have recently decided to move into assisted living but haven’t decided which community is right for you, you should take care of this crucial step ASAP. Depending on which community you choose, you may need to make a different decision about selling, renting, or keeping your current home. If you’re wondering where to start when selecting an assisted living community, you can go online to compare features and rates for assisted living communities in your area. You can chat, call, or email with advisors on these sites to narrow down your choices and schedule tours of your top picks. Tours can be useful because you can see for yourself what sort of amenities each community offers, and you can also see that assisted living can provide some serious perks. Many communities offer social activities and maintenance services in addition to providing seniors with safety.

Work With a Local Realtor Before You Decide to Sell Your Current Home

Now that you have your assisted living plan and costs figured out, you can decide whether selling your home makes the most sense. This is the most obvious way to get rid of the expense and upkeep involved with owning a home, but if you need funds for assisted living, you need to make sure your home sale provides profits. Investing in the right upgrades and staging touches can help boost the price point of your home. But honestly, the best way to ensure that selling your home will be profitable is to consult a realtor. An experienced local pro can provide market information for your area and can help you decide whether selling right now will yield profits.

Find a Property Manager Before You Decide to Rent Out Your Current Home

When you’re preparing for a move to assisted living, you already have enough on your plate. So, don’t add more stress by going it alone if you decide to rent out your home. Before you begin leasing your home, think about hiring a property manager to take care of the finer points of marketing, maintaining, and managing a rental property. Otherwise, you could end up searching for reliable tenants and attempting to collect timely rent payments on your own. An experienced property manager can tell you how to make rentals more profitable.

Talk With Your Loved Ones Before You Decide to Gift Your Current Home

A far less common option for seniors who are looking to get rid of their homes before transitioning into assisted living is to give the home to family members. If you are considering this uncommon move for your current home, you should talk with the intended recipients first. Make sure your loved ones want your home and also ensure that your family members understand the financial implications of receiving these property gifts. They may need to pay additional taxes on that property, so you both need to be aware of these legal ramifications.

If you’re still having a hard time deciding how to handle your current home, you may need more time to plan your transition into assisted living. After all, moving out of your home and giving up your current lifestyle are both huge changes, so allow yourself some time to process your emotions and then get back to using the tips above to decide what to do with your home.

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Currently, my husband and I live with my mother, supporting her as she encounters the challenges of aging and the reality of her mortality. More is required of me as time progresses and her health declines. Being sensitive to her losses and how she grieves them is a fine art I learn daily. Fortunately, I can apply my understanding of healthy grief, watch for signs of unhealthy grief, and let her know I hear her even when she cannot find the words to articulate the confusion and pain.

As Chaplains for senior living communities, I can imagine your spectrum of support is even wider. Your ministry is to the residents, their families, as well as the staff members. Each group has their own specific needs and ways to process grief.

The elderly may display their grief by shutting down, denying, or showing depression. They are already struggling with diminishing capabilities. By this stage in their life, they have lost so much: friends, a spouse, their career (often their identity), possibly a child, siblings and for sure their parents. For many seniors, health is a major loss. And for others, the loss of mental acuity is painfully difficult for them and their family members.

In addition, seniors are also looking down the barrel of their own mortality. Interacting with them by supportive listening as they grieve their losses is such an important gift to give them. Some seniors are at peace about this. They have a faith that gives them hope for a beautiful future. Supporting their hope brings encouragement to their days and nights.

In our little household, we all managed to get COVID-19. The real possibility of my mother’s death was a part of our experience. While her symptoms were mild, the potential for rapid decline existed. Bedtime seemed to be especially troublesome for her. Her body was so uncomfortable, and her mind was prone to fear. Two simple strategies helped us both. They might be useful for you and the staff who serve their residents.

1. Listening to my mother express her fears and acknowledging the difficulty of feeling those feelings was a way to see her transition from panic to peace. Just knowing that one’s feelings are normal and were heard are two ways to dissipate the stress of loss and grief. My mother and I said important things to each other. You might be the one who hears these important phrases a senior resident would like to say to their family but are not able to do so for a variety of reasons. Responding with, “This is really difficult,” “I know this is hard,” and “Thank you for sharing,” are supportive comments that convey you acknowledge their vulnerability, loss, pain, fear, and grief. Is this not a time to bear another’s burdens?
2. I found that talking about the future of an Earth made new with no physical pain or limitations helped my mom transition her thoughts from fear to peace. It was reassuring to hear her move from pain and fear of not living anymore to anticipating something so much better than she was experiencing. Even if someone is not a person of faith, they can still imagine a world free from pain and suffering. What might they like to do or see or where would they go? How would the world look different to them and who would they want to spend time with? By lifting the thoughts of fearful minds towards what is true, noble, pure, good, lovely, praiseworthy, and excellent, it opens the way for God’s peace to be with them. (Phil. 4:8,9)

As a grief educator and grief coach, I welcome any opportunity to support and educate others about healthy healing grief. Our new resources are Scripture based, clinically proven, accessed by many, and well received by nearly all who have had the opportunity to be trained in grief support skills or coached through their own loss. You are welcome to visit www.comfortfortheday.com to discover our online courses, cards, book, blogs, or potential training opportunities. We look forward to supporting you as you minister to residents, families, staff, and administration through these exceptionally difficult times.

© Karen Nicola 2021

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